My Advice for Divorce Month

By:  Anthony C. Adamopoulos, Divorce Mediator, Arbitrator & Collaborative Lawyer

Divorce Month is almost here.

I urge everyone who is facing divorce to seriously consider staying out of the public adversarial divorce system.

Staying out of the “system” generally means choosing one of two processes, either confidential mediation or confidential Collaborative Divorce.

If the two of you agree on only one thing, let it be that you will use confidential mediation or confidential Collaborative Divorce.

Hand-in-hand with the right approach is the right lawyer. Not all divorce lawyers are qualified to do divorce mediation or Collaborative Divorce. Mediation requires training and success. Collaborative Attorneys need to be certified.  Believe me, this is not the time to go to your third cousin’s friend’s real estate lawyer.

Learn about Divorce Mediation and Collaborative Divorce at:

The Three Approaches to Divorce

The Three Approaches – Graphically

 

ANTHONY C. ADAMOPOULOS’ DIVORCE RESOLUTION SERVICES  

(978) 744-9591

ACABOSTON@AOL.COM

© 2019 Anthony C. Adamopoulos

CONSIDERING DIVORCE? THE DECISION….

The Holiday Season is often followed by the Decision to divorce – I call it: “The Decision”.

For couples with young children, The Decision must consider them. From a child’s point of view, divorce is often seen as the death of a child’s family, at least as the child has known the family.  This “death” can result in outcomes including Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

In the lives of young children, no decision of their parents can have a more negative effect than The Decision.  That is exactly the reason couples should take a few extra steps before The Decision.

First, talk alone about The Decision.

“But, we can’t talk! That’s why we’re divorcing!”   Well listen!  If your child was lying in an emergency room and the two of you had to talk and make a decision, would you talk?  If your answer is “Of course”, well, in your child’s life, this is just as important.

Talk!
Talk about:
-Is divorce the only choice?
-Is divorce the only answer?
-Is divorce necessary now, while the children are young?

If you cannot talk, then talk with a professional. Yes, it is that important in the lives of your children. Also, if the first professional “just isn’t right,” try another, and another.

If you have done all you can to keep the family “alive” and, still, divorce is necessary, then you have probably done all that you can.

 

ANTHONY C. ADAMOPOULOS’ DIVORCE RESOLUTION SERVICES   

(978) 744-9591

ACABOSTON@AOL.COM

©2019 Anthony C. Adamopoulos

 

If We Agree on Everything, How Long Does it Take to Get Through Divorce Mediation?

By Anthony C. Adamopoulos, Divorce Mediator, Arbitrator and Collaborative Lawyer

 

Not very long at all.

Here is the process:

  1. Make an appointment for you and your spouse through my office. You can usually get an appointment within a week.

At the first session, about two hours, I will learn what agreements, you and your spouse have come to on the children, on support and on how the property will be divided. Assuming the financial statement, you were asked to bring with you, is in order, I then go to the next step.

  1. I will then prepare a draft Separation Agreement based upon what you and your spouse agreed to at our first meeting. The turn-around time for this is about a week.
  2. You review the Separation Agreement draft which I will send to you. You decide how long to review it.
  3. We then then talk on the phone or via email about any changes you want. This shouldn’t take more than a day or two to schedule.
  4. If necessary, I revise the draft Separation Agreement. (This takes about 30 minutes.)
  5. We then meet to answer any questions about the Separation Agreement; and, if you and your spouse are ready, you sign the Agreement. This is usually a one-hour meeting.

In short, after two meetings you can have a Separation Agreement that is ready to bring to court for a judge’s review.

ANTHONY C. ADAMOPOULOS’ DIVORCE RESOLUTION SERVICES   

(978) 744-9591

ACABOSTON@AOL.COM

©2018 Anthony C. Adamopoulos

FACING DIVORCE AND CANNOT AFFORD A DIVORCE LAWYER…

…USE LARLIMITED ASSISTANCE REPRESENTATION

LAR lets you hire a specially trained and qualified LAR attorney to help with some of what you must do if you represent yourself, pro se.

You Can Hire an LAR lawyer:

  • to go to court with you just one time, or as many times as you want;
  • to write an Answer, Motion or Pre-Trial Conference Memo;
  • to explain things you do not understand;
  • to help you prepare your Financial Statement.

LAR lets you buy from an LAR lawyer simple fill in the blank forms:

  • Motions for Child Support
  • Motions for Child Custody
  • Answers to Complaints
  • Many More

ANTHONY C. ADAMOPOULOS’ DIVORCE RESOLUTION SERVICES

  FULL LAR SERVICES

(978) 744-9591

ACABOSTON@AOL.COM

©2018 Anthony C. Adamopoulos

How Long Does It Take to Get a Divorce Through Mediation?

By Anthony C. Adamopoulos, Divorce Mediator, Arbitrator and Collaborative Lawyer

The time it takes to get “through” the Mediation Process initially depends on whether or not each party returns a properly completed Probate and Family Court Financial Statement. The Mediator needs a correct Financial Statement for many reasons. An insufficient Statement causes delay and increased cost. At the outset, the Mediator will provide clients with the form and instructions.

To complete the Divorce Mediation the mediator will guide the parties through any issues surrounding the three major components of a Separation Agreement – the children, support and division of property.

The length of time it takes to resolve each component is directly related to the amount of disagreement on each component.

For example, if the parties have already agreed on how many over-nights the children will spend at each parent’s home, they have essentially resolved about 1/3 of the Divorce Mediation. The same applies to support. If the parties agree with the accuracy of each other’s Financial Statement and their respective post-divorce financial needs, they will also have resolved 1/3 of the Divorce Mediation. Lastly, if the parties agree on the accuracy of each other’s Financial Statement and have already decided how the property listed on each Financial Statement will be divided between them, then they will have resolved 1/3 of the Mediation.

Assuming a fact pattern similar to the above, then the mediation can be completed in less than three hours. There remains only the preparation of the formal Divorce Separation Agreement by the mediator. (Only divorce mediators who are attorneys can prepare Divorce Separation Agreements.) Under the above scenario, it would take about one and half hours or less to prepare the Agreement.

So how long does a divorce mediation take? About four to five hours if the Financial Statements are accurate and the parties are in agreement as to the major issues.

 

©2018 Anthony C. Adamopoulos

Why Collaborative Divorce? – Answered In One Picture.

 

February is Divorce Month in Massachusetts because there are so many divorces filed that month. So, it is safe to assume that people are right now considering what process to use, that is – Adversarial, Mediation or Collaborative. Elsewhere in DivorcingOptions.com you can read about these three processes in detail.

But, sometimes a picture says it all…

Divorce Approaches Diagram

View PDF version

If your considering divorce, now is the time to talk with someone who knows what he is talking about. And, he is talking about calling a truce to the war and getting a peace settlement. Call Anthony.

 

You may reprint or distribute this chart on your website so long as the copyright and contact information for Anthony C. Adamopoulos’ Divorce Resolution Services remains attached to the bottom of the image.

Copyright ©, 2014 Anthony C. Adamopoulos’ Divorce Resolution Services, DivorcingOptions.com. All rights reserved.