Why Collaborative Divorce is Different & Better

By:  Anthony C. Adamopoulos, Divorce Mediator, Arbitrator & Collaborative Lawyer

THE DIFFERENCE:

The Collaborative Divorce Process is so much better because it is the only process where the attorneys are committed, by written agreement, to concentrate on settlement, AND, if they cannot get a settlement, they cannot represent you in litigation.

The difference is truly transformative in divorce law.  In litigation, divorce attorneys cannot say that their first and only priority is to get a settlement.  Collaborative Attorneys can and do.

THE PROCESS:

First, you must be committed to a quick and less expensive resolution of your divorce; rather than winning in court litigation.

Once you are committed to a quick and less expensive resolution, you each select your own Collaborative Attorney who is specially trained to practice Collaborative Divorce.  Not all attorneys are certified to be Collaborative Attorneys.

You, your spouse, and the two attorneys then sign a contract committing all efforts to resolution.

The next real difference from litigation is that you and your spouse, with the guidance of your Collaborative Attorneys, will then use two key experts – a Financial Neutral and a Facilitator Neutral.  Your Facilitator expedites the process by helping you and your spouse identify short and long term goals and overcome inter-personal roadblocks.  Your Financial Neutral expedites the process by analyzing the unique needs of your family, identifying tax provisions related to those needs and creating realistic plans to preserve family income and property.  And, the neutrals will bill at fees below the attorneys’ fees.  This means that unlike other divorce situations, if, for example, you and your spouse disagree over a parenting plan, the Facilitator Neutral will help resolve the parenting problem at a lower rate than the attorneys’ fees.  Or, if there is a disagreement over whether to sell the house, the Financial Neutral will work on a resolution rather than the two higher paid attorneys.

In resolving issues that are delaying settlement, neither the attorneys nor the neutrals will be concerned about “winning”; they will concentrate on meeting the real needs of you and your spouse rather than any psychological “want to win”.

GETTING STARTED:

The easiest, but not the only, way to get started is to go to the really informative website for North Shore Collaborative Divorce.

Once at that site, select an attorney with whom you would like to work; suggest that your spouse do the same.  If you would rather start by first talking with a certified Collaborative Attorney, that works too.

Of course, you can also call me at (978) 744-9591.

That’s it!  Your attorney will walk you through the process.

ANTHONY C. ADAMOPOULOS’ DIVORCE RESOLUTION SERVICES  

(978) 744-9591

ACABOSTON@AOL.COM

 

© 2019 Anthony C. Adamopoulos

AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT FROM NORTH SHORE COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE ABOUT ITS NEXT WORKSHOP

Chart Your Course to a Better Divorce – What You Need to Know

If you are contemplating divorce or already knee-deep in the process, this 2.5 hour educational workshop is for you. Chances are, you are overwhelmed and can’t seem to find the right answers to your specific questions about the divorce process. Your friends tell you one thing and your family tells you another. But the only way to get through one of the most difficult events of your life is to be empowered with the information you need to make informed decisions.

Who gets the house? Will I get child support and alimony? How does the new tax law impact alimony in 2019? Am I entitled to half of my spouse’s retirement even though I never worked? Can a pension be divided? Am I going to be financially okay after the divorce?

You have so many questions and we have all the answers. Our workshop will focus on the legal, emotional and financial issues commonly encountered in the divorce process. Our Family Law attorneys discuss your options with regards to which process you should choose – litigation, collaborative or mediation, as well as explaining the law when it comes to support issues like child support, family support and alimony.

Our experienced Divorce Coaches discuss the emotional roadblocks you will experience and offer ways on how to handle them. Family issues like how to tell the children or how to continue relationships with grandparents and in-laws are also addressed.

Our Divorce Financial Experts discuss the different types of assets commonly divided in divorce along with the potential pitfalls and tax issues that can arise. What are your options with the marital home – do you keep, sell or buyout? We’ll lay it all out for you!

Why do we do this workshop? Because we are a group of divorce professionals who strongly believe that when people are educated and informed about their specific situations, they are better prepared to make the important decisions that are best for them and their family.

We are North Shore Collaborative Divorce. Please visit our website: Northshorecollaborativedivorce.com.

The only way to empower yourself with accurate information is to hear it directly from the experts – those divorce professionals who focus solely on working with divorcing spouses.

AT DANVERS’ PEABODY INSTITUTE LIBRARY

(15 Sylvan Street, Danvers, MA 01923)

Saturday, February 9, 2019 

9:30 a.m. to 12:00 p.m.

This Workshop is FREE!

 

My Advice for Divorce Month

By:  Anthony C. Adamopoulos, Divorce Mediator, Arbitrator & Collaborative Lawyer

Divorce Month is almost here.

I urge everyone who is facing divorce to seriously consider staying out of the public adversarial divorce system.

Staying out of the “system” generally means choosing one of two processes, either confidential mediation or confidential Collaborative Divorce.

If the two of you agree on only one thing, let it be that you will use confidential mediation or confidential Collaborative Divorce.

Hand-in-hand with the right approach is the right lawyer. Not all divorce lawyers are qualified to do divorce mediation or Collaborative Divorce. Mediation requires training and success. Collaborative Attorneys need to be certified.  Believe me, this is not the time to go to your third cousin’s friend’s real estate lawyer.

Learn about Divorce Mediation and Collaborative Divorce at:

The Three Approaches to Divorce

The Three Approaches – Graphically

 

ANTHONY C. ADAMOPOULOS’ DIVORCE RESOLUTION SERVICES  

(978) 744-9591

ACABOSTON@AOL.COM

© 2019 Anthony C. Adamopoulos

CONSIDERING DIVORCE? THE DECISION….

The Holiday Season is often followed by the Decision to divorce – I call it: “The Decision”.

For couples with young children, The Decision must consider them. From a child’s point of view, divorce is often seen as the death of a child’s family, at least as the child has known the family.  This “death” can result in outcomes including Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

In the lives of young children, no decision of their parents can have a more negative effect than The Decision.  That is exactly the reason couples should take a few extra steps before The Decision.

First, talk alone about The Decision.

“But, we can’t talk! That’s why we’re divorcing!”   Well listen!  If your child was lying in an emergency room and the two of you had to talk and make a decision, would you talk?  If your answer is “Of course”, well, in your child’s life, this is just as important.

Talk!
Talk about:
-Is divorce the only choice?
-Is divorce the only answer?
-Is divorce necessary now, while the children are young?

If you cannot talk, then talk with a professional. Yes, it is that important in the lives of your children. Also, if the first professional “just isn’t right,” try another, and another.

If you have done all you can to keep the family “alive” and, still, divorce is necessary, then you have probably done all that you can.

 

ANTHONY C. ADAMOPOULOS’ DIVORCE RESOLUTION SERVICES   

(978) 744-9591

ACABOSTON@AOL.COM

©2019 Anthony C. Adamopoulos

 

FACING DIVORCE AND CANNOT AFFORD A DIVORCE LAWYER…

…USE LARLIMITED ASSISTANCE REPRESENTATION

LAR lets you hire a specially trained and qualified LAR attorney to help with some of what you must do if you represent yourself, pro se.

You Can Hire an LAR lawyer:

  • to go to court with you just one time, or as many times as you want;
  • to write an Answer, Motion or Pre-Trial Conference Memo;
  • to explain things you do not understand;
  • to help you prepare your Financial Statement.

LAR lets you buy from an LAR lawyer simple fill in the blank forms:

  • Motions for Child Support
  • Motions for Child Custody
  • Answers to Complaints
  • Many More

ANTHONY C. ADAMOPOULOS’ DIVORCE RESOLUTION SERVICES

  FULL LAR SERVICES

(978) 744-9591

ACABOSTON@AOL.COM

©2018 Anthony C. Adamopoulos

STUCK IN DIVORCE COURT? HERE IS YOUR LAST CHANCE TO CUT COSTS AND AGGRAVATION!

Are you in divorce litigation?

Are you having second thoughts – time standards, discovery cost, no trial in sight? Enough!

You have complained to your attorney and your attorney reports that your spouse’s attorney has heard the same complaints from your spouse.  Your attorney suggests mediation or conciliation.

What is the difference between Divorce Mediation and Divorce Conciliation?

Mediation is an independent, voluntary, confidential process conducted by a mediator, who is neutral. The mediator will:

  • Assist you and your spouse in identifying and discussing those issues keeping the two of you from settlement.
  • Explore with you and your spouse various avenues to resolution.
  • Develop a settlement acceptable to you and your spouse.

The two of you will select the mediator. The mediator’s fees will be split between the two of you or paid as the two of you agree.

The major benefits to Mediation are:

  • The mediation is private. There is no report to the Judge.
  • The mediator will provide all the time you and your spouse need to work on a resolution.
  • Experienced mediators have settlement rates of between 85% and 97%.
  • If the mediation is in the 3-15% that fail, you and your spouse may enter a written agreement (stipulation) stating that all that was agreed to in the mediation shall not be litigated at trial.

The major negatives to Mediation are:

  • The Mediator is paid.
  • If the mediation is in the 3-15% that fail, the parties will have to return to the litigation process for the unresolved issues.
  • Since you are in litigation, you must get permission from the judge to “take a time out” for mediation. Your attorney will handle this.

Conciliation is a court related process in which a court appointed neutral (the Conciliator) assists parties to resolve their case by:

  1. Clarifying the issues preventing a settlement; and then
  2. Assessing the strengths and weaknesses of each side’s arguments; and
  3. If the divorce cannot be resolved, then the Conciliator explores the steps which remain to prepare the case for trial.

The Court usually allocates two hours for the Conciliation session. The Conciliator is not paid, but there is an administration fee, currently $50.00 per party.

The major benefits to Conciliation are:

  • The trained Conciliator will assess your “side” and your spouse’s “side”. You will then be able to consider the assessment in planning your next step, e.g., trial or settlement.
  • The Conciliator does not get paid.

The major negatives to Conciliation are:

  • The Conciliation lasts a short time, contrasted to Divorce Mediation.
  • The Conciliator may report her/his assessment to the Judge and any opinion as to whether someone is not acting in good faith.

What should you do?

Statistically, 97% of divorce litigation will settle within days of the trial. That means, even though you and your spouse each paid an enormous amount of money to get ready for trial, it may never happen (97% of the time).

The sensible thing is to avoid more costs now, stop the litigation, and settle your differences in mediation or arbitration.

©2018 Anthony C. Adamopoulos

How to Save Real Money in a Divorce

By: Anthony C. Adamopoulos, Divorce Arbitrator, Mediator and Collaborative Attorney ©2018

In every divorce there are non-law issues. Some are as basic as “Who gets the college chest”? or as complicated as “Where will the children primarily live”?

Attorneys and smart parties are now using professional neutrals (also called coaches) to resolve those issues that are not distinctively legal in nature.

A Financial Neutral expedites the process by analyzing the unique needs of your family, identifying tax provisions related to those needs and creating realistic plans to preserve family income and property.

The Facilitator Neutral expedites the process by helping you and your spouse precisely identify short and long-term goals.

Most experienced attorneys can do all that the neutrals do.  But, they do it at their regular rates.

Experienced divorce attorneys charge between $350.00 an hour to $450.00 an hour. Some charge more; some less. The important point is that the hourly fee of your attorney is the same whether your attorney is working on the “separation agreement”, a legal document, or who gets the college chest – a distinctively non-legal issue.

Experienced neutrals charge between $175.00 and $250.00 per hour.

Who can use Neutrals?  Parties in contested divorces are already using neutrals to do real estate or business appraisals. So why not other neutrals?  Parties trying to “work it out” on their own can really benefit from neutrals. The Collaborative Divorce Process  already uses neutrals.

Ginny Simon and Linda Cohan are Facilitator Neutrals. Diane Pappas is a Financial Neutral. The fees of these neutrals follow within the range described above. All three are experienced mediators – a plus.

 

HELP OTHERS TO KNOW You are invited to post this article on your web site, blog or social media.

 

Reducing the Cost of Divorce with Limited Assistance Representation (LAR)

By: Attorney Anthony C. Adamopoulos

If you are facing divorce, you may be feeling a lot of uncertainty. If you are also having financial difficulties, you may feel more uncertainty. This post is intended to provide information and resources to help you understand a different alternative when facing divorce; an alternative that may give you more certainty.

What is Limited Assistance Representation (LAR)?

Limited Assistance Representation allows you to hire me to help you with some, but not all, of your divorce proceedings. In a written agreement, you and I outline exactly what I am expected to do.  Here are some areas in which I can help you:

  • Limited Assistance for a Court Appearance: This allows you to hire me to go with you to court and “appear” for you, one appearance at a time, for example, appear at a Pre-Trial Conference.
  • Limited Assistance for a Service: This allows you to hire me for one type of service, for example, to review a separation agreement.
  • Limited Assistance for Document Preparation:  This allows you to hire me to prepare a document to be filed with the court, for example, a Pre Trial Memorandum.
  • Limited Assistance for Help in Negotiating: This allows you and I to focus on those issues and approaches that will most likely achieve settlement.

Benefits of Limited Assistance Representation For You:

  • Limited Assistance Representation can be helpful if you have financial restrictions keeping you from hiring an attorney for the entire divorce process. With Limited Assistance, you only pay for the services you need.
  • Limited Assistance Representation allows you to hire an attorney for “game changing” events such as the Pre-Trial Conference with the judge when an attorney’s experience can make a difference in the outcome of the Conference.

Is Limited Assistance Representation Appropriate For You?

  • Limited Assistance Representation is appropriate when you do not wish to represent yourself and cannot hire an attorney for the entire case, but you still need representation for a specific matter.
  • Limited Assistance Representation is appropriate when you feel comfortable taking on certain responsibilities, for example, the preparation of the Financial Statement and the gathering, organizing and producing of financial records.
  • Limited Assistance Representation is appropriate for an existing court matter or a matter soon to be filed with the court.

Important Considerations:

  •  Under the law people who represent themselves are not entitled to special considerations or leniency. This is important because many people believe that if they represent themselves the judge must “go easy” on them.

 

MORE INFORMATION: