When a Friend says:
“I think I am getting divorced…”

It’s tough to hear this from a friend. What do you say?

Often, the first reaction is: “You need to find a lawyer.”
But that may not be the best advice.

There are three very different approaches to divorce:

• Mediation – A trained mediator works with both spouses to resolve every issue. Even on the biggest sticking points, mediators are skilled at helping couples reach agreement.
• Collaborative Divorce – Each spouse has a collaborative lawyer, and the process brings in neutrals (like financial or parenting specialists) to simplify negotiations, provide guidance, and keep costs down.
• Litigation – The traditional court process. It is the most expensive, the most time-consuming, and often the most emotionally draining. And here’s a key fact: 97% of litigated divorces settle before trial. If most cases settle, why start by hiring a trial lawyer?

The truth is, only a small number of divorces actually need a trial. When your friend has just said, “I think I am getting divorced,” this is not the moment to talk about court battles.

A better way to help? Suggest that your friend look into all three approaches before making a decision. You can even offer to sit with them and do a little research—Google it, or even ask AI.

👉 **The right process makes all the difference.

Anthony C. Adamopoulos

Divorce Mediator & Certified Collaborative Attorney
📍 Topsfield, MA | ✉️ acaboston@aol.com | ☎️ (978) 744-9591