My Advice for Divorce Month

By: Anthony C. Adamopoulos, Divorce Arbitrator, Mediator & Collaborative Lawyer

 

Divorce Month is almost here. In 2016, I saw one of the saddest, unnecessary, adversarial divorces ever. The cost in emotions, future harmony and money was enormous and unnecessary.

So again, I urge everyone who is facing divorce to consider seriously staying out of the public adversarial divorce system. It will hurt and it will hurt way into the future.

Staying out of the “system” generally means choosing one of two processes, either confidential mediation or confidential Collaborative Divorce. Take the time to read about these important confidential divorce approaches at The Three Approaches to Divorce.

If the two of you agree on only one thing, let it be that you will use confidential mediation or confidential Collaborative Divorce.

Hand in hand with the right approach is the right lawyer. Not all divorce lawyers are qualified to do divorce mediation or Collaborative Divorce. Mediation requires training and success. Collaborative Attorneys need to be certified. Believe me, this is not the time to go to your third cousin’s friend’s real estate lawyer.

 

For more information about Divorce Mediation and Collaborative Divorce:

The Three Approaches – Graphically

The Massachusetts Collaborative Law Council

The Massachusetts Council on Family Mediation

The Divorce Center

HOW TO USE DEADLOCK ARBITRATION

PART TWO

STALEMATE - RAM HEADS

For PART ONE – WHY CONFIDENTIAL DEADLOCK ARBITRATIONsm

Making the decision to arbitrate:

  • Deadlock Arbitrationsm can be used to resolve deadlock arising out of the Collaborative or Mediation process.
  • After deadlock, attorneys discuss arbitration with their clients. Pro se litigants discuss arbitration between themselves.
  • If all agree, an Arbitration Agreement is executed.

The basic arbitration agreement provides for:

  • Confidential and private proceedings;
  • Discretion;
  • Issue selection and limitation;
  • Binding awards (there may be a high/low agreement);
  • Any other provision agreed upon;
  • The admission of all evidence which is then given the weight determined appropriate by the arbitrator; and
  • The time and location for the arbitration hearing.

Benefits of arbitration:

  • Provides privacy – for example, hearings are not open to the public.
  • Provides confidentiality – for example, testimony and documentary evidence are not available to the public.
  • Avoids unnecessary costs – for example, affidavits may be used instead of in person expert testimony.
  • Avoids unnecessary delays – for example, there are no unexpected court like delays.

Points to consider:

  • Speed – hearings can be scheduled within days and decisions awarded within weeks.
  • Single issue determination – arbitration can be used to resolve only one issue, e.g., the final “sticking point”.
  • Arbitration awards are generally not subject to appeal.

 

WHY CONFIDENTIAL DEADLOCK ARBITRATION?

PART ONE

CAT & DOG - STALEMATE

 

What is Deadlock Arbitration?

Deadlock Arbitrationsm   is a private confidential process that avoids the need to “change over” to public court litigation when divorce mediation or Collaborative Divorce reaches a total breakdown.

What causes deadlock?

Deadlock results from a party refusing to move from a position. For example, consider this scenario:

After negotiating for a period, all issues have been resolved, except for one – the wife’s recent inheritance from her father’s estate.

The wife says, it is hers. The husband says, he wants his share.

Neither party will compromise. They are deadlocked!

A lot of pain and effort went into getting agreement on everything but this one issue.

Think about it! Only one issue prevents a resolution.

Do the parties now have to leave Mediation or the Collaborative Process and go into court litigation?

N0.

How does Deadlock Arbitrationsm work?

In Deadlock Arbitrationsm, the parties “hand pick” an arbitrator to decide the one issue.

“Their” arbitrator travels to a location selected by the parties. There, in a confidential format, totally designed by the parties (with the help of their respective attorneys or their mediator), the arbitrator listens to the presentation of each side.

The arbitrator, within an agreed upon period, makes a decision on the deadlocked issue and the parties move on.

See Part Two  for:  HOW TO USE DEADLOCK ARBITRATIONsm